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Sweaters full of depressed carniverous chalk [entries|friends|calendar]
Matthew Greene

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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Hmmm.... [19 May 2005|08:43pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

Group therapy is really working for me. I'm off to a new start.

I think I'm going to get a girlfriend. I just hope I don't have to pay her too much.

Fold your sweater!

[18 Apr 2005|09:40pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Today in group therapy we did self portraits...I think I did a swell job

Fold your sweater!

[17 Jan 2005|08:13pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

Today I bought me a hooker.

She said my weiner smelled funny.

Then she wouldn't stop laughing...

So I choked her until she shut up.

Now she's not breathing.

Oh god...I think I've killed her....

'scuze me while I go masturbate while crying.

1 Chalk covered sweaterFold your sweater!

It's decided [10 Nov 2004|07:33pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

I've become a feminist. Women are so mistreated and I think it's time someone did something about it.

Who's with me?

2 Chalk covered sweatersFold your sweater!

Sad, sad, sad [10 May 2004|10:51pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

I did not write in awhile as usual. A sad, sad thing happened the other day. I was finally able to lure Fido out from under the bed when he went on a savage rage and flew out the window, into the nearest dumpster. I think he's dead. I don't know how I'm ever going to forgive myself.

School is almost over for the year. Every year I tell myself that I'm going to do something exciting like go to Disney or something. A bunch of teachers are going over to the the Oreoles after school tomorow to go out for a drink. They asked me to come too, but I said that it didn't seem like a very good idea.

I'm mighty tired. I think I'm going to go lay down for awhile. I miss Fido.

1 Chalk covered sweaterFold your sweater!

Fido [29 Mar 2004|09:06pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well it's been a long time since I posted. I had to resign from the assistant track position because of a little mishap. I think I'm okay now...except I can't feel anything in my hand. The doctors said that I may not ever have feeling in it again.

I'm not sure if anyone noticed, but last week was my birthday. The only one that remembered was my great Aunt Edna, who
cuts my hair. Usually she gives me a free hair cut for my birthday, but instead her Doberman, Priscilla, had puppies. She said something about "the bitch was sleeping with a tramp" but I didn't quite get that one.

So I got to come over and take a gander at the puppies. They were all so small and innocent...just like little people. Then I saw this one puppy. He was brown and a runt. None of the other puppy's seemed to like him too much and bit him and pushed him away. In a way he reminded me of myself, shoved away from my alcoholic mother and crossdressing father. So I took the little guy in my arms and felt the warm feeling of love. I felt like a really had a new friend. He licked my on the nose, and there was a deep glowing warmth...running down my leg, naturally, but it was still a warmth.

So I took him home in my arms and walked to my apartment. He's been there ever since.

The only thing is, the dog is afraid of me. He never comes out to see me when I call him or feed him. However, every afternoon when I come home from work, he always pees on my pillow. I just don't understand it. Maybe I'm being too mean? I decided to name him Fido. That seems like a reasonable name for a dog. So the other day I was trying to coax him out of hiding. I extended my arm out to pet him, and he bit my arm. I had to call 911! They wanted to put a muzzle on him, but I could never let them do that. Arm had to be amputated. I've had worse things happen...such as the time I got attacked by a fire truck...or the time I got stabbed by a little African boy in the peace corps.

I've been typing this with one finger the entire time. My hand hurts something fierce. I am going to go put some ice on it...and then lay down...and maybe watch something on TV. Hmm...maybe I got my cable back.

4 Chalk covered sweatersFold your sweater!

Another Livejournal entry [13 Mar 2004|05:05pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well, hey folks. It's been so long since I updated this thing. I got asked by Mr. Harris to help coach girl's spring track. Those girls are some really fast runners, you know. Back when I was in the Peace Corps in New Guinea, the only time I ran that fast was when some cheetah made off with my survival pack. I had to eat roots and twigs for five straight days until they found me, but I ended up getting food poisoning.

Anyway, I think I'm going to have to quit being assistant track coach. I like the badge I get and all, but my car is in such bad shape that it wouldn't be worth it. That's where I've been all this time.

My sister Mary Anne called me. I got all excited at first but it turns out she just wanted to know if she could borrow two-hundred dollars. Ah gee.

I'm gonna go make myself some popcorn. I hear Golden Girls is on soon.

1 Chalk covered sweaterFold your sweater!

Sunday [22 Feb 2004|04:45pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Today is Sunday. I have good news...for once. The neighbors want to get rid of their Windows 98 and said they'd sell it to me for $150. I think I'd be able to afford that, so I'm going to talk to them about it. I mean, it's not that great of a computer but if you really think about it, it's something I can use instead of the 1994 Apple I have. I can make worksheets at least if I give him another $80 for the printer.

I think I'm going to be needing to make extra money now that I have this hole in my budget with the computer. The track coach at school said that he could use someone to do some extra help around since they don't have any managers this year. I think I make around $1,000 with this. Maybe even buy a plane ticket to go home for awhile.

I bought myself one of those TV dinners yesterday night. I went to make it today but it turned out to be all freezer burned.

Another thing has been on my mind lately. I think I need to get myself a girlfriend. And well I was thinking to myself and thought that a good place to pick up a nice scholarly girl would be at a salsa dancing class. So I think I might be taking classes.

Well...it looks like I have to leave again. I paid Mr. Ognoski five dollars to use the computer for fifteen minutes. I'm going to go now.

Bye.

2 Chalk covered sweatersFold your sweater!

[20 Feb 2004|11:05pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well...

It's Friday night and while all the young, hip people are out at discotheques and the like, I'm stuck at home again watching the news.

I don't even like the news. It's too risky for me. The news is like running without a shirt! Burr!

Awe shucks...the neighbors want their computer back so I must go.

1 Chalk covered sweaterFold your sweater!

[18 Feb 2004|11:17pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Well the microwave over-cooked my frozen mashed potatoes. The box said that they were made just like the ones ma used to make. I miss my parents. I wonder what they're doing. Sometimes I wonder if they even miss me.

Since I can't sleep, I'm going to go watch the static on my television for a while, then probably weep until my eyes are too tired to stay awake.

1 Chalk covered sweaterFold your sweater!

Journal entry #2 [18 Feb 2004|08:37pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Hey there, folks. This is Matt again. Yep. I'm back. Back on the old computer. Yeah.

Nothing really went on today. I had class as usual. I decided to be all tricky and give the kids this puzzle. The puzzle is impossible to solve. It had seven openings in a maze and they had to go through each door and end up inside the middle. Heh heh heh. I'm a tricky guy. I gave it to them for homework last night. I hope they all come in confused. That would make me happy.

My car broke this morning...the red sportscar. Had to get it towed. I should be able to pay for it pretty decently since I never spend much money. I figure I could just keep the same clothes that I have. I dress a lot like my students. You know those blue shirts with the white stripe through the middle? I just bought myself a bunch of them the other week. I bet they can't tell me from a student. Ha ha ha.

So I had to walk home today. Good thing it wasn't raining. So I'm sitting here...at my computer..alone. Maybe I should get a dog. But then I'd have to clean up after it. Well that doesn't sound like a very good idea. I don't think that the landlord woudl be too happy about that type of thing.

Heh.

On the walk home I stopped off at Turkey Hill and picked up some TV dinners. I think I'm going to make one of them now. I hope my microwave isn't broken...

1 Chalk covered sweaterFold your sweater!

New Journal [17 Feb 2004|09:31pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

This is my first journal entry ever. >:-) I never had a journal before. I really wish that I had kept one when I was in the Peace Corps in New Guinea. Back there they didn't do much book writing and learning and stuff. Right now I teach Algebra II somewhere in Kutztown. It's hard going to school with a whole bunch of kids for a day, but I do make good money.

Today after work I took a long, hard run down the street. I saw some of my students and tried to say "hi" to them, but the kind of just looked away.

I tried to call my parents again last night...I miss home something fierce. Somehow the phone was disconnected again or they just weren't home. I haven't talked to them since...oh...two Julys ago? I tried calling around Thanksgiving but...no answer.

There's a really good movie on now...I think I'm going to go and watch it.

1 Chalk covered sweaterFold your sweater!

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